hello again!

flowers in front of the main house

Sorry for the long break between updates. Between classes, socializing, and other activities, I haven't been managing my time here as well as I would like. As most of you know I can be a perfectionist, so sometimes it takes me a while to gather my thoughts and write it out in a presentable and articulate way.

Well, it’s just been great teaching after great teaching here during the last several weeks. Allow me to quickly recap some highlights since my last blog:

teachings

Through May 10th-12th, we had the Person and Work of the Holy Spirit and the Gifts of the Holy Spirit. One of the great treats during those days was getting in small groups and “exercising” some of our spiritual gifting (Ro 12:4-8; Eph 4:1-16; 1 Co 12:4-11).

May 13th was Foundations of Worship. Although I’ve had some of the teachings before(thanks to my discipler), it was good to hear them again. Concepts such as the Tabernacle: entering the gates, outer court/inner court, the Holy Place, and the Holy of Holies. In other words, giving thanks and praise “until worship comes” and worship until the Glory of God falls.

From the 18^th-20th, we learnt about Restoring the Human Spirit through creativity. For a lot of people, it was great fun; everything from music workshops, art and crafts, wood/metal-working, and clay sculpting. For me, unfortunately, it was a bit stressful at times. Once again, I can be a perfectionist, especially in the area of the arts. It was my first time with modeling clay. What should have been a fun experience turned out to be exhausting at times. In spite of it all, in the end it was all good and here’s is the final product of one of the sculptures I made:

wounded (please don't read too deeply into it, folks)

works from my fellow classmates

i also made the praying figure

one of my classmates made this and i think it's great; it says "living water"

the best for last

I must say, however, that the Transforming Communities course from the 13^th-15^th was the crown jewel of them all. Originally, this was a weekend course only offered to the public who registered and paid and not intended for NETS students. Thankfully, leadership decided to let us sit in and I am so grateful because the class was by far some of the best Christian teaching I have ever had. The course was taught by Alistair Petrie. Some of you may have heard of or watched the video series called Transformations (if you haven't, I highly recommend that you watch it). I watched the vignette from the first of series about the revival in Columbia, South America several years ago. Well, Alistair was the producer of those videos. The course absolutely BLEW MY MIND. There is no way I will be able to do any justice to Alistair’s teaching with anything I write so I’ll just summarize in his own words what the theme of the class was about: “the identification of repentance, spiritual mapping, intercessory prayer, and strategic level spiritual warfare so that the issues in any given community, city, or nation (even churches and our own lives) which inhibit or impede effective evangelism can be identified and removed, allowing evangelism to take place. The prayerful application of these principles will lead us towards revival and transformation.”

Alistair Petrie

Man, as I type this and think about the class, the hairs on my arm stand up. One of the most encouraging things that Alistair did was giving all of us a mustard seed during the Friday night session as a prophetic pronouncement; that God, no matter how small we think we are or our faith is, will use us in mighty ways.

Outside of classes, I’ve been doing pretty well. I can’t believe I’ve been here for more than seven weeks already.

Well, here is a preview of my next post; it definitely hasn't been all work and no play so it will be focused more on some of the fun things I have done:

Have a great day!

the healing retreat

Well, I have had more than a week to process what happened during my healing retreat. The reason why I wanted time to process was because I wanted to make sure what experienced wasn't simply a one or two day thing. The following are excerpts (revised) from my written journal from immediately after the Saturday night session:

4/30 ~10pm
It may be too early to say, since I am slightly cautious of mountaintop experiences. I think I need about a week to totally process what exactly happened today. If I could some it up in one word, it would be: freedom. For the first time since I don't even remember, I feel so free. Not since the mission trip to the Ukraine have I felt this good. In so many ways, I feel better than I ever have in my entire life. Is that strange to hear?

There may be a reason behind this: this past Friday (4/29) during communion, Jill's message was on Revelations 2, where Jesus addressed the church at Ephesus. She pointed out verses 4 and 5: "Yet I hold this against you: You have forsaken your first love. Remember the height from which you have fallen! Repent and do the things you did at first. If you do not repent, I will come to you and remove your lampstand from its place." She challenged us with the following questions: have we forsaken our first love? Do you remember how it was when you fell in love with Jesus? Have you forsaken that?

At those questions, I thought to myself, "I don't believe I have forsaken my first love for Jesus, because I don't know if I ever truly was in love with Him in the first place." And I've been a "Christian" for over 16 years. Sad, isn't it? During all those years, I don't believe I was ever truly in love with Him. Have any of you ever been in a romantic relationship where you thought you were in love, but later realized you weren't; that it was far from love? That was my realization on Friday. All those praise and worship songs where I sang how much I loved Him, I now see that while I did love Him, I loved other things much more. And when we love other things more that God, what do we call that ladies and gentlemen? That's right folks: IDOLATRY. More on this later.

The personal ministry time with my counselors today was so wonderful. God was so faithful during it. At first I was a bit apprehensive because two out of the three counselors were women! Even worse, they were term three students whom I would see around Pierrepont daily. How awkward it would be to share with these two sisters (whom I just met) some of my worst sins and secrets, and then see them around and have meals with them? Well, I quickly got over it and just trusted in God.

Immediately after the first ministry session, I was very much at peace. The guilt, shame, regret, and condemnation that haunted me for the past two years were no longer there. Poof. My counselors and I prayed, cut off, and renounced them all in Jesus name. During the second session, one of my counselors had a word of knowledge from the Spirit about me. She asked me if I was believing in these two lies from the enemy: 1) I had a fear that no one will ever love or accept me (including God) because of my past sins; 2) that I felt I needed the forgiveness of two certain people in order to be forgiven, vindicated, and move on. Those words were spot on. I never told her (or anyone here as a matter of fact), but she heard from God. In the end of the ministry time, all curses, unholy soul ties, generational iniquity, lies, and demonic influences were cut off and prayed away in Jesus name. I feel great!

Getting back to may original point: so I feel better now that I ever have in my entire life. I think it's because for the first time, I feel as if there is nothing standing in between me and my Lord Jesus. For the first time, I feel as if I am able to totally surrender my all to Him. For the first time, I am falling in love with Him.

So... some of you may be thinking, "How are you feeling now, a week and a half later?" Well, I still feel great. For those of you out there who know me well (and everything that I have gone through for the past two years), I am telling you the truth when I say that much (if not ALL) of the fears, guilt, shame, depression, despair, condemnation, insecurities, rejection, and pain are no longer there. There is such a lightness and freedom in my spirit that I haven't felt in years.

Don't get me wrong. God still isn't through with me yet. I know there is still stuff that still needs to be dealt with. I suspect that there is still some healing to be done, but I strongly believe that most of the core issues, hurts, root areas, and problems have been prayed into. Yet, it's all good, because He who began a good work in me will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Can I hear an "amen?"

the Cross in front of main house

this and that...

Thank you for praying for me during my healing retreat last weekend. Some of you have been asking how it went. I'll be sharing it with you once I have had a little bit more time to process. In the meanwhile, here are some highlights since my last blog:

Classes/teaching

For the NETS curriculum, we recently had fewer classes than normal because of two healing retreats and a bank holiday. Last week was all Deliverance Ministry Training. The last several days of this week: Blessings and Curses, and Intercessory Prayer and Spiritual Warfare.

Several times a year, Ellel Pierrepont offers one day courses to the public called the "Understanding Series." On 4/23, my fellow NETS students and I got to sit in on Understanding Successful Relationships. The course explored some of our behaviour cycles and how we can change to enable successful relationships. Altogether, about 140 people attended and it took place in the conference hall.

worship

soul ties demonstration

the conference hall

bustin' out

This past Monday was a UK bank holiday, so we didn't have classes. So I finally had the opportunity to leave Pierrepont and explore some of England. Now I love it here at Pierrepont; it's so beautiful and serene, but I basically haven't left the site or the city of Farnham since arriving here. Thankfully, Ashley (Australia) and Hannah (UK) let me tag along with them and we spent the whole day in Oxford. A friend of mine from the States is studying at Oxford University and she gave me an excellent tour. Let me tell you: it is the most beautiful campus I have every been to. I've visited Harvard, Stanford, Princeton... they pale in comparison to Oxford U.

Ashley and Hannah (yup, they are married)

front quad of Exeter College (one 39 colleges at Oxford U.)

Exeter College Chapel

Inside the Chapel

The super highlight of visiting Oxford was visiting some of the areas where a couple of my favorite authors hung out. I walked through Magdalen, the college C.S. Lewis attended while at Oxford U. Finally, I went to the Eagle and Child pub, the meeting place of C.S. Lewis, J.R.R Tolkien, and their friends.

Magdalen College housing (where C.S. Lewis dormed?)

me in front of the Eagle and Child pub

other tidbits

My Chinese stinks. I initially thought it would get even worse since I really wouldn't be using it at all during the next several months. Thankfully, God has provided a handful of people here who are more than willing to help me out with my Chinese. I think I am actually using more Mandarin here than back at home. Wouldn't it be funny if I left the UK speaking better Chinese? Here is a pic of some of my fellow Chinese speaking NETS students (from Hong Kong, China, Taiwan, and Malaysia):

Next blog: healing retreat aftermath. Be there or be square...